"Boycotting" Christmas

So I am attempting to return to blogging. The advent of Facebook (and those of you in the Facebook world know what I'm talking about) slammed my blog into "so last year."

This blog is written in light of my recent status update that spoke of boycotting Christmas.

By now you have probably see the movie version or read (or at least heard of) John Grisham's Skipping Christmas, a funny story about a new empty nest couple who decide to skip all the traditions of the season and take a vacation only to be pre-empted by their daughter's surprise return home on Christmas Eve.

Without belaboring the details of why, after last Christmas I was feeling stressed and cranky, and my husband and I said something has to give. My Mom and sister agreed. Although they wouldn't be joining us, we talked seriously about going away for Christmas next year. The back-up plan in my mind was to keep our feet firmly planted on the home court all day on Christmas and have people come to us. But starting a business last February has tied up all our extra cash flow and therefore, short of a Christmas miracle, we will be enjoying Christmas at home this year, and by home I mean, HOME. And my family who we usually visit with Christmas Day are OK with coming over and making it more casual and relaxed for everyone.


Reduce Stress...Do Less. In my household because of our crazy work schedules we are always talking about how to do less and make the most of our family time. Starting in October I usually begin my mental Christmas shopping lists and planning lists for get-togethers and cooking. I do this because I so enjoy Christmas and have wonderful memories of food, presents, and events from childhood. While there is nothing wrong with this planning that has helped me enjoy the holidays more in the past, I started to hyperventilate a little. When would I find time to do all these things?

I had a little heart to heart with myself and decided I didn't need to go to the Early Bird Sales in town the first weekend in November, nor did I even need to start asking people what they wanted for Christmas. I also started to panic about where I am going to put all the toys that my child will receive since his toy bins and closet are full, full, full. Do we really need more stuff in this apartment? Do we really need to buy, buy, buy because it's what we always do?

I realized I could chuck the lists until maybe after Thanksgiving, which I feel in our culture often gets shoved aside for more commercial seasonal pursuits. Why is it that Thanksgiving seems like something we get through to get on with the REAL holiday? All day on Thanksgiving the commercials advertise early sales at 5 a.m. or even starting at midnight. Ahhh...stop...enough all ready, aren't we already thankful for what we have? Why do we need to have more? Sorry Kohl's, but your bottom line is not my concern...ever! Now if getting up at those hours to save a little on your bottom line is important to you then so be it, but I just don't find anything exciting about shopping with the masses at 5 a.m. I'd rather sleep in and enjoy the day off relaxing with my family.

So, every year, and this year is no exception, I ask "What is it that I really want my Christmas celebrating to be about?" These are the answers I got: Giving, relaxing, relationships, making memories, Jesus.

Giving... to people and projects that have less than I. That is the spirit of the season is it not? Also I have a real drive to teach my child the importance of this. There are a multitude of ways we can do that. And right now, this week, is one phenomonal way. Operation Christmas Child. Check it out here. A friend and I are also brainstorming ways to give back rather than give to ourselves at an annual gift swapping party. Project Angel Tree, Toys for Tots-like programs, and donations to a teen rehab center or nursing home have been some suggestions. I don't say this to toot my horn, I say it because we are all aware of the need. If you feel the same way, it might be possible to convince your party to swap the gift-getting tradition for a real gift-giving tradition.

Relaxing...I enjoy cooking when I have time on my hands. I start purusing cookbooks in October for my holiday baking. I dog ear and stack up cooking magazines. But when it comes to the day of cooking I usually go for baking something with the ingredients I have on hand. I realize I don't really want to spend my entire Saturday baking 3 kinds of cookies or making a cheesecake, dinner rolls, and a fancy appetizer. At that point I say to myself, "What's wrong with box brownies, gourmet store-bought rolls, and chips and salsa?" because at this busy point in my life, I'd much rather be coloring line art Santa Clauses or listening to "Little Drummer Boy" over and over and having a marching band through the house with my child for baby Jesus.

Relationships...Which brings me to relationships. If they are truly the most important thing in my life, then I should make them more important than baking, shopping, and whatever else is on my must-do list. And frankly when I let go of my list for the little moments of coloring, listening to music, making sugar cookies for the hundredth time because my child wants to then I feel peaceful rather than frustrated and enjoy spending that time making a memory that's important to him and becomes important to me too.

Making Memories...Isn't that what all the frenzied activity of the holidays is suppose to be about--memories? But somehow without a minute by minute journal and camera in hand, the memories start to blend together. My husband and I have talked about making some gatherings into mini-events, not gift swaps, with minimal planning involved. I admit some gift swaps, especially ones involving white elephant gifts have produced hilarious memories. One such memory is the year my uncle brought a bright blue handknit sweater with reindeer on it and all the men had fun stealing it and wearing it around proudly. (There are pictures somewhere...). This year my cousin had a great idea of gift cards for the swap, particularly to a favorite restaurant. That turns the gift into an event. Some of my best memories in recent holiday history have been buying tickets to the Bob Marley (the comedian) holiday show for my immediate family. And last year when my father-in-law turned 70, instead of party hats and joke gifts, we went out to a local Ethiopian restaurant. (Ethiopia figures heavily into family history.) Indoor carting and bowling have figured into our brainstorming for some get-togethers this year.

If events are too pricey, time to get creative and get on line for ideas. Last year at the the first ever McKague-Miner party we played a hilarious game involving a duct-taped gift and work gloves. These are events that I'm sure I will ever forget, while many years I can't even remember what my husband bought me for Christmas.

Lastly, for me Christmas is mostly about Jesus. The gift of faith and a relationship with HIM is what Christmas and any celebration is really about for me. Christmas is a time to recognize that gift to me...the baby in the manger, who has brought me peace for times when all around me is not peaceful; who has brought me joy, when things are bleak; who has brought me love, when I wanted to hate. If I can't spend time celebrating that in quiet, prayerful ways or in worshipful and giving ways because I'm so busy with my Must-Do List, then for me, it's a wasted holiday season, and I might as well boycott it.

Winter Clothesline: Needing Hope

I have the winter blahs. I know because I don't feel like moving. I only feel like eating. And I feel like curling up in bed and reading books for days. There is something about living in this northern climate during deep winter that should benefit us, like a tax break, a bail out, a stimulus package!!! (Just kidding) We are 2 feet deep in snow, with another foot or so expected tomorrow. My road is rutted ice. The sidewalks in town are treacherous. And the only entertainment at home is one station through my recently acquired digital converter box that I didn't get a coupon for, nor does it work most of the time! (Well, I exagerate. It's not the only form of entertainment. Radio, DVD player, VCR! Rescue Heroes The Movie is wearing on my nerves though.)

I don't want to hear any more news on the news. I don't want to know about any more tragedies, accidents, people getting sick or dying, people doing wacko things, job layoffs. I don't feel like getting heated up over school consolidation votes, the economy, Obama's new policies. It's all too much. Everywhere I turn it feels like the world is really ending soon, and I sense everyone around me, including me, needs an infusion of hope and energy!

So what did I do this evening when I needed to pick up from dinner, but just couldn't seem to? I prayed, "God, you are our hope!" And I prayed for this country and for people who are really hopeless in dire situations, and the government, et. al....

Patrick came down from his bath and we ate ice cream (to soothe his oncoming sore throat and to satisfy my carb-craving.) Then I got busy. If I didn't move, I wouldn't move. Dishes, trash, laundry, entryway floor.

I took the trash (which is piling up and piling up) out to the shed. When I stepped back out into the dark I realized it was so very quiet. Not a breath. Not a sound. Wait, yes, a neighborhood dog was whining quietly to be let in. But that's it. Not even the sound of ice fisherman or snowmobiles on the nearby lake. I looked up and presto! Bright white stars. A large one right over my house. Orion. Clusters. Gorgeous.

"God, you are in control!" I thought.

I stood and breathed it in for a few more moments and then went inside and called for Patrick to come look at the stars.

"The heavens declare the glory of God" and give me hope that His reign is still sovereign, even in the dead of winter.

Patrick's Body Art

Patrick has a love of anything he can use to decorate himself with. Up until today it's been temporary tattos and stamps. Every time we go to the library he wants a "tatoo," actually a stamp that the librarians willingly give to kids on their hands. The last time we were there the volunteer and I both agreed that when he turns 18 (or whenever) he'll be getting himself a bonified tatoo.

So tonight I come home to see this:

Patrick has never been one to get into things, make a mess of something he shouldn't have, stick his fingers in light sockets, you know that kind of stuff that makes parents have meltdowns?

It was actually worse than this before I saw him, and there's more you can't see--pen marks on his legs! At bathtime I found remnants of red around his temples and ears.

I think he told me he was trying to make himself into the Hulk or some latent superhero.

How this happen? Perhaps that's a question for Daddy.

Very funny!

Fall Clothesline: New Friends

Patrick is loving school this year. Once the first three-week transition was over, he's enjoyed school. He hates to leave his toys, but once he's there, he's golden. It helps too that this year he's in the same classroom, with kids who have moved up from the younger class, basically his peers in the age group who he should have been with all along had we registered him earlier last year. But it all worked out in the end. After getting over some noise fears on the playground (there's a shooting range a half mile away and a construction business next door), he blossomed into a group-play participant.

The recent and really very cute stories coming from the classroom help are about the boy-girl pairings at free time.

Well, let me start over. Patrick has been playing with his baby, my Cabbage Patch from the 80's. He is in good shape and has been a part of the animal menagerie for over a year. He's always given them all cursory hugs or tosses now and then, and often sets them up for camping out on the floor for protection. But about 4 weeks ago he started holding the baby, kissing the baby, changing the baby, putting the baby down for a nap, feeding the baby, brushing the baby's tooth (all pretend mind you) and, get this, saying, "Mama, we need to have a baby sister."

AH. OK.

So once or twice he's wanted to take the baby to school. One day he stayed in the backpack, but this week baby came upstairs and stayed in the crib until play time. That was the day I learned about playing house with the girls, and boys. It's incredibly cute (wish they'd photograph it fo me), and I'm incredibly glad that society's sexism is totally beyond 4-year-olds. Most of the kids in his class have younger siblings, so many of them are pretending they are caring for babies too. He's learning so much from the girls! Apparently they are very "strong" girls, according to the teachers. I've met them, and they are, but also very cute.

Case in point. We went to an open house at Healthy Kids a few weeks ago, and he spotted two of these very girls. They were very absorbed with the zoo animals and didn't see him for some time. Patrick, when he's with me, acts very shy, and wants me to interact with people for him. We sat down near them at the playdough table, but he wasn't into it. He wanted those friends to spot him. Oh boy when they did it was an avalanche of girl excitement. "Patrick, I just saw you at school. What are you doing here? How did you know I was going to be here? You didn't did you. This is so exciting!!!" and on it went. What a reception they gave him! I was wholly proud to see he was well-liked.

All week he has been talking about playing with babies with "Au-de-ry." Girlfriend? I say not! But girl friend, yes definitely!

Fall Clothesline: Winter Already?!

It's time to throw out the pumpkins. They are frozen mush. The annuals are finally dead. I can fit in a walk only at lunch time because it's dark at 4:30 when I get home. It was 16 degrees farenheit this AM. I wish we had a wood stove. "Wreaths for sale" signs are popping up. It must be winter?

I went out shopping last Friday night, and finally saw for myself the slowdown in the retail sector of business. I walked into Old Navy and did a triple take. "Whoa. What happened here?" I had to ask someone, and I was right, the store was smaller. "Half" is what the woman said.
Granted it was 11 p.m., but when we pulled into the super Wal-mart,the lot was surprisingly empty. The three of us (Mom and unnamed friend) looked at each other with "What is up?" looks. Unnamed said, "Did doomsday happen, and nobody told us?" It was nice to shop uninterrupted, even though I somewhat hate shopping in general. But if it has to be done, it better be done efficiently.

Shopping also afforded the boys their second Friday night "Boys' Night" in a row, for which they went bowling. I think we have a tradition here. I may never bowl again.

Anyway, with the holidays upon us, it feels like "so much to do, so little time" until January when there's nothing to do except stay inside, write thank you notes, pray for good tv reception, and eat homemade soup. Welcome to Winter.

Facebook has been occupying my on-line time lately, and it's been great to catch up with college friends--Hi Friends! So despite all my lame excuses, here are some photo updates from the last month:

Patrick received this very nice hand-me-down lightweight snowsuit that's a perfect Halloween dress-up for a non-creative-with-her-hands-person like me:

Dinner at an African restaurant with the Miner clan for Grampa's big birthday!

My birthday was on Tuesday. We had a nice family dinner (and presents) at home! We got a family picture too. I've been working on Snapfish calendars for the grandparents' gifts, as well as obsessing over a photo for Christmas cards this year, and realized we had no threesome photos. Better start using that automatic feature with the timer more next year!

Before age 3 Patrick had some great photos. (What am I talking about? He rarely has a bad photo.) What I mean to say is his expressions were always so natural. Now that's he's camera-trained he has the usual pasted on "Cheese" face that he holds for two-seconds-not-enough for the flash. This week I got a few great "real" shots. This being my favorite!

Autumn Clothesline: Soccer

Soccer photos from week three.

There's only one week left.

But tonight the weather was absolutely delightful.

I love Indian summer. (Wait, is that P.C.?)

The line up...waiting for instruction.

Patrick's school buddy from last year to his right.

This was only about a third of the kids in his age group that night.

Goalie!

Soccer Star!

Autumn Clothesline

Boy, have I been feeling nostalgic. For more on this see my latest post on Frontporch Conversations. We went apple picking last week. I bought a pumpkin from a favorite roadside stand on Saturday. I made an apple crisp. I found a beautiful red leaf on my lawn this evening. And I'm freezing! It must be fall. Patrick still wants to wear short to school. He compromised today with some sporty ones with elastic bands that he could pull up to his knees "like soccer guys". Oh, yes, and he's doing soccer. I'm now a "soccer mom." Well, sort of. I have a child that officially plays soccer in some kind of official soccer program. Does that qualify? I haven't actually taken him or been to one of these events yet. Daddy gets the blessed pleasure, but this week for sure, come gas or no gas in my car, I will be there. Last week I had a complete fiasco that had nothing to do with the gas shortage this week in Nashville. It had to do with debit cards, banks, and blessed computers not working right. You can dream up the rest. It made me horribly late for sitting at my debut as a soccer Mom, and I was extremely upset (to say the least). If that was you I either honked at or yelled at or did something else uncharacteristic I apologize. I've said my penance already. It wasn't that I was so proud of my new role, as I was excited to be with my family and watch my boy, who has been declaring himself "bigger now" or a year [to play], have fun in his debut in organized sports. So this is truly big at 4 and a half. Photos to come.